I am a nineteen year old girl who loves singer-songwriting and playing clarinet. I use my music as a way of expressing my feelings and emotions as well as for enjoyment. I also love playing squash and going hiking with my friends. One of my main values is to be caring and helpful towards others and to be there for others when they need me the most.
That is the ‘real’ me, the person I am when I’m well. But what does ‘well’ really mean?
In my case, being ‘well’ doesn’t mean having a perfect life, nor does it mean living every day without any irrational thoughts, but to me, it is a time when my thoughts aren’t all consumed by my eating disorder; when every decision I make isn’t done as a result of feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Every day still brings challenges in terms of my eating disorder, but the thing that has changed is how I deal with those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
As a brief summary, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in November 2014 (although I have experienced OCD tendencies from childhood) and in my last sessions of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), my therapist became aware that I was having difficulties around food and body image. This led to a diagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa (and Autism) in April 2015 and by July 2015, I was admitted to a specialist eating disorder unit, where I spent the next eight months. Although my time as an inpatient was challenging, it allowed me to gain invaluable skills which have played such an important role in my recovery.
I have made this blog with the intention to provide support and guidance to anyone who is struggling with mental illness and in particular, eating disorders and hope that it can help others who are suffering.
Onwards and upwards,